Violence*

It could have been different

I could have found you

So those fireworks would mean something to me

But nothing can be different from what it really is

So violence took me by surprise and pushed me on the floor

There was blood in my mouth, and the devil in those faces

I know that I’ve done everything wrong

I’ve said and I’ve felt everything wrong

I’ve felt what I couldn’t feel, what I couldn’t have

You have been doing right

You should keep away from my sorrow

That’s all I could ever give

You should be happy, so you should stay away

Coz there’s no place for happiness in my melancholy

I am all hurt

And what hurts the most

Is to think that I won’t have you

I won’t love you, you won’t love me

I won’t love you, you won’t love me

I won’t love you, you won’t love me

You go to distance and I stay here

Feeding the idea I make out of this

I’ve made up this idea, based on words you said

Based on promises of being near that serious look in your eyes

Crying makes me feel good, makes me feel alive

A victim of this feeling I insist to fantasize

You didn’t ask for any of this

And I’m so sorry for that

There’s so much you have to take care of

So please take care

I’ll be sad before I’m dead

You need joy, and you must have it

Not from me, I guess

They took a simple thing, which was part of my life

But they couldn’t make me stop thinking of you all the time

And you were there when I was there

Now I’m here and you somewhere

So far and deep inside of me

I shouldn’t be proud of crying until I fall asleep

But well, I am

And soon I’ll forget the stairs I rolled down

Trying to reach to you

I’m sure one day these words will lose their meaning

When you hate me and wish me to roll down those stairs

Then I’ll be gone, then I’ll be past

And that’s the beautiful violence of time